Something has gotten into baby D since yesterday. He’s just not himself. Who knows, maybe he’s finally getting a tooth. First of all this is generally a happy kid. He really doesn’t cry unless there is a real reason. So yesterday I got him up from his afternoon nap and he was wet right through his sleeper. I changed him and put him on the floor with some soft blocks and started pulling the sheets off his bed. I kept an eye on him and noticed that he kept turning around to look out into the hall. Since he had toys with him and there was no one home except the two of us this seemed strange. I found it a bit creepy actually. I’m not totally sure why. Maybe because hubby has commented a few times that he thinks that the place is haunted and that baby D can see ghosts. I always say that he’s full of crap and I really don’t believe it, but to see my son continue to check the empty hallway gave me a funny feeling. Then when my back was turned he started to cry. My first thought was that he had fallen over, but when I turned around he was still sitting exactly where he was surrounded by the same soft toys. The crying didn’t make any sense to me. I gave him my undivided attention after that and then he was fine for the rest of the day.

Today the strangeness continued. He was fine all morning though he didn’t nap more than 10 minutes. So when we got home from my “Bringing Up Boys” group and a quick visit to my work, we played for a bit. Then according to our usual schedule I gave him his bottle and went to put him down for his afternoon nap. He gave his usual tired cues, but when I put him in his crib he cried and didn’t settle down. Instead of being flat on his belly like he usually is in bed, he was up on all fours. I got him up, cuddled him and rocked him for a bit and as he started to drift off I tried to set him back in his crib. He was not having it and wailed. I still had to eat something as I hadn’t eaten all day and get the laundry out of the dryer from last night, so I put baby D in his exersaucer which is usually a big hit. Nope, not today. Again he cried like crazy. I popped him in the hip carrier I just bought (but will be returning because all his weight is supported by a strap that pulls against my neck) and brought him along as I grabbed a quick bite to eat. He kept cuing that he was tired so after I finished eating once again I took him upstairs to put him to bed, but I got as far as the door to his room and he started to whine. So strange. At this point I gave up and took him into the family room where I cuddled him until he finally fell asleep. Even then he woke up about 4 times crying but did settle down fairly quickly and drifted back off to sleep. I know everyone has their off days and I’m probably reading into his behaviour, but it’s still unnerving.

As mentioned, I went in to work this morning. I know it’s exams right now, so that’s always a perfect time to visit since there are no kids around. Don’t get me wrong, I love them and everything, but I get swamped when I go in and since I just wanted a quick visit no kids was easier. It’s so weird being back there. It’s like another lifetime ago that was my home away from home. So I chatted a bit and people fawned over baby D before going in to see my Principal. That was the main reason for going. I wanted to see what my options were for extending my leave. I have since discovered that my unemployment can definitely not be extended. Great. Even better? Little to no chance of using some of my sick days (I have like 200) to cover from the end of my maternity leave until I return in August like I had hoped. I’m so totally running out of options. I feel like I need to stay home. I REALLY want to be a stay-at-home-mom, but that will probably never be an option. August will be hard enough to leave baby D, but I’m definitely not prepared to do it now with my mental state and lack of daycare. I am able to extend my leave for up to 2 years, but with no pay. I don’t think that will be feasible. Hubby even suggested that he could take the unpaid leave and I go back to work since I make more. The problem with this is that he has a company vehicle to get him to work everyday but we have no car (I borrow my Dad’s when I need to), so I’d have to get a car immediately. I hate thinking about all this stuff it totally stresses me out and makes me crazy!!!

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